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Farming Families -Support Your Family: Building Strong, Loving Relationships

Farming Families -Support Your Family: Building Strong, Loving Relationships

Food and Health
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EXCLUSIVE -In South Africa, family farms have long been the backbone of rural communities, providing food, employment, and a way of life for generations. However, these farms face escalating threats from theft, violent crime, and farm murders, creating a climate of fear and insecurity. For families living and working on these farms, the dangers are real and profound, making unity and collective action more critical than ever. 
South Africa has one of the highest crime rates in the world, and rural areas are not immune. Family farms, often isolated and sprawling, are prime targets for criminals seeking livestock, equipment, or other valuables. Stock theft, in particular, is a persistent issue, with thieves targeting cattle, sheep, and other animals that represent years of investment and hard work. In some cases, criminals go beyond theft, resorting to violence that leaves families traumatized or, tragically, mourning the loss of loved ones. 
Farm attacks—violent crimes such as robbery, assault, rape, and murder committed on farms and smallholdings—are a stark reality. While the motives often appear tied to robbery, the brutality of some attacks—marked by torture, severe beatings, and killings—has left communities reeling. For example, elderly couples have been brutally assaulted with iron bars, and families have been tied up and terrorized during home invasions. 
The dangers extend beyond the loss of property or livestock. Farm murders strike at the heart of families, leaving survivors to grapple with grief, trauma, and a shattered sense of safety. Elderly farmers, often over 60 and physically vulnerable, are frequent targets, attacked when they are most defenseless—during meals, at night, or in the early morning hours. Stories of families finding loved nes beaten, tortured, or killed are heartbreakingly common.

Today, we are losing far too many young men and women to suicide. Behind the smiles and busy lives, many are silently struggling—overwhelmed by pressure, stress, and a deep lack of emotional support. Life has become a race, and many feel they can’t keep up. They carry emotional wounds they don’t know how to express or heal. What they need isn’t more criticism or demands—they need someone to listen, to care, and to remind them that they are not alone.

As parents, mentors, and leaders, we must step up. Create safe spaces. Open conversations. Show love without judgment. Teach them that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

Your presence could save a life. Speak with kindness. Listen deeply. Be there—before it’s too late.

 Quanlim Life- Johann Pretorius - Professional Health care practitioner.

In today’s fast-paced, high-pressure world, families are under more strain than ever. But it all starts at home—with your support, your presence, your willingness to be there emotionally, mentally, and physically for your loved ones.

Support Your Husband

Your husband needs more than food on the table—he needs your emotional support. Acknowledge him not only as your husband but also as the father of your children. Recognize and praise his efforts at work and at home. Men often carry heavy emotional burdens in silence. Make time to speak to him, to touch him, to listen. Don’t let the busyness of life rob your relationship of the intimacy and emotional connection it needs to thrive. The same with your wife- you need to support her on all levels.

Support and Praise Your Children

It’s not enough to stand next to the sports field and shout at your child. They need your time, guidance, and emotional support. Praise your children from a very young age. Acknowledge their efforts and who they are becoming. Do not place unrealistic expectations on them—understand what is appropriate for their age and development.

If you feel you were not there for your children in the past, take time to sit down with them, apologize, and explain why. Help them understand it was never because they weren’t important.

Healthy Communication and Boundaries

  • Do not punish your children in public. Shame can leave long-lasting scars.

  • Listen before you act. Sometimes they just need to be heard.

  • Don’t discuss personal or adult matters in front of them. Children should not carry adult burdens.

  • Avoid conflict in their rooms. Their bedroom should be a safe and happy space.

  • Do not argue during meals. Mealtime should be a moment of connection and peace.

Parenting with an Open Mind

You and your spouse must remain open-minded when it comes to raising your children. Parenting is not about control—it’s about leadership, guidance, and love. Remember: you are not your child's friend, you are their parent. That means loving them through discipline, setting healthy boundaries, and being their role model.

For Divorced Parents

If you are divorced, do not let your personal pain and regrets influence your children. Both parents need to work together to provide a stable emotional environment. Maintain an open line of communication regarding the children and never fight in front of them. Children need both a father and a mother—and later, a grandfather and grandmother.

Make peace with the past. Acknowledge that both of you may have made mistakes. Heal yourself and then find a way to co-parent that supports your child’s well-being. You both need to remain healthy—mentally, emotionally, and physically—for your children.

As parents age, grown-up children have a vital role in ensuring their well-being. Aging can bring financial strain, health challenges, and emotional burdens, but parents may not openly share these struggles due to pride or a desire not to burden their children. It’s crucial to step up and take responsibility.

First, alleviate financial stress. Monitor their expenses, help with budgeting, and ensure they have access to necessary resources like healthcare or retirement funds. Be proactive—don’t wait for them to ask for help. Pride often keeps them silent, so observe for signs of struggle, such as unpaid bills or reluctance to spend.
Loneliness is another concern. Aging parents may feel isolated, especially if they live alone. Regular communication is key—call, visit, and spend quality time with them. Listen attentively, as they may hint at issues without directly addressing them. Your presence and support can ease their emotional load.
In short, grown-up children must actively care for aging parents. Address their financial needs, stay connected, and be sensitive to unspoken struggles. They cared for you; now it’s your turn to ensure they live with dignity and peace.

Final Thoughts

We live in a world full of pressure and stress. Let home be a place of peace, support, and love. Be present. Be kind. Be strong. Build your family from the inside out, with open communication and heartfelt connection. Do not put all these pressure on your children to perform - leave them to play and be a child. Be the father and the mother- money will not solve this... 

Written Johann Pretorius - Professional Health care practitioner in Pretoria South Africa-

(Johann was a farmer for 30 years and in media and Television part time for almost 30 years.. For the past 20 years he has his own practise in Healthcare.)

His passion for REAL HEALTH makes him very popular as a speaker at Functions.

Written to the book "Discover yourself to become yourself" and a few more.

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